In News by Oluwaseun Samuel on the 19th, September, 2020

How My Ex-Husband Kidnapped Our three Youngsters, Locked Them Indoors

How My Ex-Husband Abducted Our 3 Kids, Locked Them Indoors

Seluona Ubebe

Ms Seluona Ubebe

Ms Seluona Ubebe is a mom of three who alleged on social media that her ex-husband kidnapped her three kids for 2 years, following their separation and dissolution of their 18-year-old marriage. She shares her story with TOBI AWORINDE

Are you able to give a background to the scenario between you and your ex-husband, Mr Victor Nordi?

We have been married for 18 years and, all through, he was doing issues that have been making it an sad marriage and saddening for me. Now we have three kids, so I wasn’t in a rush to go away the wedding; that was why I stayed and endured the wedding for 18 years. After 18 years, I discovered out that I wasn’t even serving to my kids by remaining in a wedding that was abusive. So, I made a decision to go away and relocated to Lagos with my kids.

After some time, we went to court docket for a divorce and the children have been with me for two and a half years. In a while, the court docket granted us joint custody – meaning we must always have equal entry to the kids. So, after two and a half years, in July 2018, he got here to select up the kids in Lagos for trip they usually have been purported to be returned in September 2018 so they may resume faculty in Lagos. He refused to carry them again. As a substitute, he modified their faculties and enrolled them in faculties in Abuja. Since then, he has minimize off the kids, so there was no type of communication between the kids and me. At any time when he finds out the kids try to name me on their telephones, he seizes the telephones. Typically, he seizes their telephones for upwards of two months. When he releases the telephone to them, he alters their SIM playing cards and warns them to not name me once more or attain me. This has been occurring for 2 years now. I’ve tried repeatedly to succeed in him, saying, ‘I have to see my kids.’

When did you get divorced?

We finalised our divorce in February. Even though we aren’t any longer collectively, the kids ought to have free entry to him and me. For some causes, he wouldn’t let me see the children. Later, I heard he stated, for the 2 years he was with me in Lagos, he solely noticed them as soon as when he got here to search for them in Lagos. And I stated to him, ‘From the start, I informed you we must always have an association the place you and I might see these kids.’ Even earlier than we went to court docket, I stated, ‘I don’t need to separate the kids from their father. Despite the fact that the wedding did not work out between you and me, you’re nonetheless their father on the finish of the day. Let’s have an association.’

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He (verbally) abused me that day and informed me I used to be speaking nonsense and that I have to return his kids to him; in any other case I might not discover it humorous. It was then I ended speaking with him, till he lastly got here to see the children one time in Lagos and the following time he got here was to choose them as much as spend the vacation and he didn’t return them.

I’ve made a number of makes an attempt to go to Abuja to see the kids. Every time I go, he wouldn’t take my calls or reply to my messages. I pleaded with him repeatedly, sending him messages upon messages. After I seen he was not responding, that was after I had no selection however to go to an internet blogger to share my story.

Was he conscious every time you visited Abuja?

Sure! In truth, earlier than I might go, I might all the time inform him prematurely, ‘I’m coming to Abuja. Please, I wish to see my kids.’ After which he could be giving me completely different excuses. ‘Don’t come but. After I’m prepared for you, I’ll allow you to come. If you happen to’re not invited don’t come.’ Even after I come, I might inform him, ‘I’m in time. These are my kids. I need to see them.’ He simply desires to make use of them to punish me. For him, it is about punishment for daring to go away the wedding. That’s what this is all about to him.

What number of instances have you ever been to Abuja to see the kids?

I’ve been to Abuja thrice and on all three events, I couldn’t see my kids. That is my third go to. I’ve been in Abuja for 3 weeks.

How previous are you and your ex-husband?

He’s 59 and I’m 48.

 

When have been you married?

We obtained married on October 2, 1998 and separated in 2016.

For a way lengthy would you say you knew him earlier than you bought married?

I met him in 1994 and we obtained married in 1998. So, it was 4 years later. The reality of the matter is that we began relationship after I was in college. I used to be within the College of Benin, Edo State. He was working in Lagos. We met throughout a kind of industrial actions launched into by the Educational Workers Union of Universities. Not lengthy after we met, the strike was known as off and I went again to high school. So, we didn’t actually have time to know one another effectively sufficient and for me to check him.

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After we first met, the one instances we used to see one another have been throughout these three-week or one-month (faculty) holidays, then I might be again to high school. Instantly after faculty, I went for the Nationwide Youth Service Corps programme, and instantly after, he proposed marriage. So, we didn’t actually reside in the identical metropolis lengthy sufficient for me to check him.

How previous are your kids?

My first kids are twins; they turned 18 lately, whereas the youngest is 9 years previous.

Wouldn’t it be proper to say you’re fearful for his or her security?

I am extraordinarily fearful for them, particularly now that he is aware of I’m in Abuja to see the kids. The most recent I’m listening to now could be that he would lock the children indoors and take the keys away. That’s what I’ve been listening to from his neighbours. So, I’m questioning, God forbid there’s a fireplace incident, what would occur? These are my considerations.

Do you assume he has individuals he seems as much as that may discuss to him in your behalf?

That was the identical query my lawyer requested me. This man doesn’t take heed to anyone. He’s that form of individual. You can’t discuss to him. He’ll show to you that he is aware of higher than you. He doesn’t take heed to his mom. He has an uncle residing in Lagos who’s in his late 70s or early 80s. I have talked to this man at size. This man has known as him repeatedly to enchantment to him to, no less than, let our divorce go peacefully for me to be in a position to have entry to my kids. Now, he doesn’t reply his uncle’s calls anymore as a result of anytime the uncle is asking him, the uncle is talking on my behalf.

Doesn’t he have any pals?

He has no pals. Any individual like that who’s quick-tempered, doesn’t take heed to individuals’s recommendation and thinks he is aware of higher than anybody, I doubt he may even keep a friendship. In all of the years I’ve identified him, he had one pal. He and that pal had an issue. I might even say that that pal was extraordinarily affected person. A number of instances, he would do issues to the man however the man would simply hold coming again. However earlier than I left him, the man lastly ended the friendship. And, for about two years, on the time I left him, the man by no means confirmed up. They weren’t speaking anymore; they have been not pals. That was the one pal I ever knew with him. I don’t know of every other pal that he has.

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Did you ever think about going to the police to get the kids again?

Sure, I went to the police. I’ve been to 2 police stations. I went to the one close to his home in Gwarinpa, then I went to the Power headquarters at Space 10. The divisional police officer at Gwarinpa informed me that there wasn’t a lot they may do, besides the court docket empowered them and that I wanted to make the court docket give them an enforcement order to go and both forcibly take the children from him, or arrest him. He stated till the court docket does that, they will’t do something about it. After I obtained to Space 10, they informed me the identical factor.

Have you ever obtained the order from the court docket?

I have a divorce order and the custody order already. However what they’re asking for is enforcement, that’s, for the police to come back in. They stated the court docket order alone can not mandate them to do something, so the court docket has to particularly mandate them to go and take motion towards him.

Have you learnt how quickly you’re going to get that?

You know the court docket system may be very lengthy in Nigeria. That’s what’s painful. Now, we’ve to return to begin pondering of the best way to get that. No one is aware of how lengthy. I spoke with my lawyer, ‘How lengthy will this take?’ They stated it’s unpredictable. It may very well be years; it may very well be much less or extra. No one is aware of. The court docket system strikes at a snail’s tempo.

If you happen to might discuss to your ex-husband proper now, what would you inform him?

I simply need a possibility to see my kids once more as a result of I’m fearful for them. I don’t know the state of their well-being. I must be in a position to see them, discuss to them once more and relate to them as a mom ought to be freely allowed to narrate with them and be of their lives.

*Editor’s word: Mr Victor Nordi declined an interview, saying the appeals on the matter have been pending in court docket.

***

Supply: The PUNCH

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