In News by Oluwaseun Samuel on the 13th, June, 2020

Our R*pe Tales – Well-liked Nigerians, Daramola, Agu, And Ibru Open Up

Our R*pe Stories - Popular Nigerians, Daramola, Agu, And Ibru Open Up

rape stories

Daramola, Ibru and Agu

 

Although the scourge of rape has been within the society for a while however social media appears to have given many a voice and tales that will have in any other case gone unheard at the moment are getting public consideration. Prior to now few weeks, the media has been replete with pathetic tales of r*pe victims who had horrifying experiences. Alas, the leisure business has additionally not been spared as some feminine celebs had additionally been victims. TOLUWALOPE KAREEM speaks with among the rape victims on what will be carried out to successfully cease the menace

Some folks in excessive place perpetrate rape ―Foluke Daramola

What do you suppose will be carried out to successfully deal with the scourge of rape in Nigeria?

Firstly, I thank The PUNCH Newspapers as a result of I had my first interview on rape with the newspaper. Once I did that, folks have been questioning what occurred to me. Although it didn’t flip into a giant factor then, it has now. It’s clear that Africans have to have a reorientation. Within the Nigerian context, all animals are equal however some are superior to the others. There are some folks perpetrating this act in excessive locations and so they really feel they’re untouchable; that’s the reason problems with rape are dealt with with levity.

Celebrities are function fashions to folks and we have to practise what we preach. If we don’t try this, there would be no true change.

As a rape sufferer, how do you are feeling if you hear about recurring instances of rape?

I’m a rape victor. I had a battle with rape and gained. I don’t think about myself to be a rape sufferer. At any time when I hear of rape instances, I’ve an understanding of what that particular person would have gone by means of. At that time, the particular person wants counselling for issues to heal inside her. Due to stigma and public castigation, a lot of people that have been raped selected to maintain quiet about it and the longer a rape incident, the more durable to show.

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Rape is a delicate challenge. At any time when anybody says they’ve been raped, the world mustn’t take a look at that particular person with disdain, as a result of it takes so much to speak about it within the first place. If she doesn’t get the fitting encouragement, she would crawl again into her shell and stay in despair. And that’s the reason many rape victims commit suicide.

What gave you the braveness to talk out if you did?

The incident occurred after I was 17 years. I went by means of my college days and first marriage dwelling with it. My first marriage was affected by my rigidity. It was after my first marriage that I met a good friend and companion who instructed me that I wanted to discuss it.

I can’t be stigmatised ―Elvina Ibru

How do you are feeling concerning the spate of rape in latest instances?

It makes me unhappy. Rape isn’t one thing that will go away. There would all the time be rapists (in society). Nevertheless, we will increase consciousness and make a number of noise to scare rapists. We must also mete out strict punishment to those that rape. It’s as a result of they’ve been getting away with it that we hold having extra instances. At any time when I hear of any story, I really feel unhappy and it makes me bear in mind my expertise. I really feel even bluer that it’s a stigma as a result of individuals who have skilled it normally really feel ashamed and don’t discuss it. Many of them really feel they’ve carried out one thing incorrect and that’s not true.

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We must be extra empathic in direction of rape victims and realise that it was not their fault that they have been raped. That might give folks the boldness to talk out extra.

Have you ever ever confronted stigma based mostly in your expertise?

Nobody can stigmatise me. And, that’s what we have to inform ladies. As soon as you already know that it was not your fault, no person can stigmatise you. If anybody tries to try this, you need to put them of their place.

 

We regularly discuss feminine rape survivors, forgetting that males additionally get raped. However we don’t pay consideration to that. Loads of males have been molested once they have been children, both by their maids, academics, babysitters or different folks. Due to how society has conditioned males that they don’t seem to be presupposed to be weak and they’re presupposed to take pleasure in intercourse, they don’t see their experiences as acts of molestation.

Dad and mom want to begin speaking to their youngsters about what is true and incorrect and the inappropriate locations the place they shouldn’t be touched. Little boys are being abused on a regular basis and nobody is speaking about it.

How armed robbers raped me –Padita Agu

Actress, Padita Agu, additionally spoke about how she was raped when she was merely 15 years outdated. Talking on her YouTube channel, the actress mentioned, “I used to be raped at 15. We have been attacked by armed robbers in the home and I obtained raped. That was my first expertise and it was horrible. I had no remedy. No one talked to me or talked me by means of it. I simply lived with it and handled it myself. I didn’t know learn how to cope with. I simply carried on with life from that level. My intercourse life was tousled till I obtained married. Earlier than I obtained married, I instructed my would-be husband the problem I had. He mentioned there was no drawback and he would stroll me by means of it.”

Agu went on to disclose how she overcame her aversion for intercourse.

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“After we obtained married, my then-husband obtained me a e-book to learn and determine myself out. It was a giant challenge for me. I obtained pissed off sooner or later as a result of he was all the time not pleased about it, too. I used to be depressed for many instances due to this. I didn’t know what to do. I attempted practising what I learn within the e-book I used to be given but it surely didn’t work.

“In the future, out of frustration, I reached out to a lady who offered meals objects within the space the place I lived then and instructed her my frustrations with intercourse. She instructed me she was as soon as like that and the straightforward issues she did (to beat it). She instructed me that every time she had intercourse, she would moan and provides her husband the impression that she was having fun with it. In the beginning, she was appearing however after a whereas, she realised she was starting to really feel the issues she was appearing.

“I learnt from her and started to practise what she mentioned. At first, it didn’t appear like it was working however I stored on at it and the story is totally different as we speak,” she mentioned.

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Supply: Saturday PUNCH

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