In News by Oluwaseun Samuel on the 21st, June, 2020

The Man Who R*ped Me Was My Neighbour And Trusted Household Good friend

The Man Who R*ped Me Was My Neighbour And Trusted Family Friend

Funke Elizabeth Ijaiyekunle

Funke Elizabeth Ijaiyekunle, an ex-banker, is certainly one of activists striving exhausting to wipe out the stigma of rape. She herself was raped at age 16 when she couldn’t defend herself within the hand of a effectively trusted neighbour who she has identified all her life.

Standing tall as a girl-child activist, a professionally rising coach and motivational speaker, Ijayekunle didn’t overcome her teenage expertise, however grew to become mentally outfitted to not dwell on her previous via willpower, nice zeal of focus as she gave herself into human developmental initiatives. She is a licensed NLP, an emotional intelligence practitioner, who defends herself and a whole bunch of different younger women.

On this interview, Ijayekunle bares all of it on the evil referred to as rape and its associated instances.

What’s your Non-Governmental Organisation’s main focus?

We’re often called Coronary heart Minders Societal Development Initiative (HSAI), a not-for-profit organisation that advocates towards rape and different sexual misconducts. Our main targets are ladies and women. After we began out seven years in the past, we came upon that one in each three ladies has been crushed, coerced into intercourse or abused in another methods. Most usually by somebody the sufferer is aware of, together with husbands, fathers or different male members of the family. This was why we focused that particular demographic to teach and sensitize them about rape and sexual abuses.

What occurred on the sad-day? Did your abuser swing a shock on you, or did you could have any premonition?

My abuser was my neighbour, I had identified him since childhood and he was a trusted household good friend. It was not a shock that he referred to as on me to ship me on an errand and I wouldn’t have suspected that such evil plan will ever occur. Like each rapist, he pre-planned the entire drama. He knew I might be at house alone at that specific time and he took the benefit. He referred to as me and advised me good friend oweing him cash has refused to see him and he wanted me to simply knock on his door and he would take it from there. That was how he pushed me into the room and his good friend walked away. He then raped me after breaking a bottle and threatened to tear my fabric if I didn’t cooperate with him.

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Did you communicate out or report him to any member of the household?

I didn’t report back to anybody as a result of I used to be afraid and I do know that my father will punish me or accuse me of following him willingly. That expertise I by no means overcame as a substitute grew to become mentally outfitted sufficient to not dwell on my previous.

Do you could have such dialog along with your kids immediately?

Sure, I do. I’m nonetheless having the dialog with my kids particularly once we speak about intercourse and sexuality. The primary time I opened as much as them, they didn’t totally realize it, however I wanted to try this at that point as a result of I had began my advocacy journey and wouldn’t need them to detect my story from exterior or one other supply. I selected to say it to them myself, and as it’s.

Do you agree that improper dressing is the rationale some women are raped?

I disagree completely. The idea that what a lady wears can provoke a person to rape her stems from rooted stereotypes about male and feminine sexuality. Nevertheless, in actuality, ladies are being raped or assaulted whereas sporting any kind of clothes. No kind of clothes is an invitation for intercourse or implies consent. What a lady was sporting when she was raped is solely not related. Rape is rarely the sufferer’s fault. An understanding that intercourse with out consent is rape is step one to change social attitudes that additional hurt rape victims.

What sanction do you advocate for the federal government to make use of to stem down the devilish pandemic referred to as rape?

I strongly advocate public execution meted out to them. We want a extremely deterrent regulation to curtail the act of rape; if not, it will proceed and develop into a tradition. As soon as it turns into a tradition, no person shall be in a position to cease it. Nicely, that is simply my candid opinion. Once more as a therapist who understands that persons are not their behaviour, I counsel that anybody discovered culpable, must be subjected to a psychological take a look at with rehabilitation. Such a person also needs to be despatched to jail for 17 years with exhausting labour.

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What was the work at Oshodi for?

It was precisely June final 12 months that we began a programme referred to as Sensitization Stroll In opposition to Rape and Sexual abuse yearly. It was referred to as Coronary heart Minders Motion In opposition to Rape and Sexual Abuse (HAAROSA). We went to Oshodi to sensitize all concerning the risks of rape. It was a profitable programme that featured MC Oluomo who was on the forefront of the stroll and it was an enormous success. We obtained a variety of accolades for that undertaking and as a roadmap we’re nonetheless going to motor parks to talk to members of NURTW concerning the menace.  Once more, we not too long ago flagged off our marketing campaign this 12 months tagged Rape Not in My Metropolis. We requested folks to ship in a one minute video condemning rape and demanding justice. We additionally began a webinar with Group Growth Councils nearly to educate dad and mom, neighborhood leaders and care givers about youngster sexual abuse. All these are in a bid to proceed sensitising folks whereas adhering strictly to the present restriction mass gathering by the authorities.

Is there any low second as an activist?

My lowest second was the day I needed to rescue a three-year-old lady who was raped by a 31-year-old neighbour. She had misplaced a variety of blood earlier than we obtained to her, however God saved her. Wanting on the lady as she goes via medicals at Mirabel Centre in LASUTH, I wept bitterly. What type of creature rapes a baby!

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What about your highpoints in life?

I’ve so many excessive moments, each on the job and my private life, too quite a few to say. In all, I’m grateful to God for my many blessings and letdowns.

How do you stability the homefront with full timetable?

Coincidentally, I tagged this 12 months my 12 months of stability – Work, Play and Relaxation. I’ve learnt extra time to be current in numerous moments of my life. Each time I’m at work, I focus, do my finest and depart the relaxation and after I’m at house I’m current with no distractions. I’ve learnt to not be an excellent girl always.

From a defenceless background, who’s Funke Ijayekunle immediately?

I’m rising skilled within the teaching and talking trade, a licensed NLP and Emotional intelligence practitioner, and behavioural therapist, counsellor and mindfulness coach. I’ve data in establishing wholesome relationships, entrepreneurial abilities amongst youngsters and younger adults in addition to sturdy enterprise communications. I have over 9 years expertise as a banker in two completely different banks in Nigeria the place I used to be a customer support officer and speak to centre crew lead respectively. After holding main positions as a undertaking director and vp of Junior Chamber Worldwide (Lagos Royale Chapter), a socio-political, non-governmental, however service oriented group of younger and lively residents, I’ve ever since given myself to human improvement undertaking. I train intercourse schooling in secondary colleges in Lagos below Lagos Instructional District four and 5 and at present manages a youth membership referred to as Heartminders Youth Membership. Apart holding Masters,  Bachelors’ and peculiar Nationwide Diploma in Communication and Language Arts and Mass communication from Leicester College in England, College of Ibadan and the Polytechnic Ibadan respectively, I am additionally a graduate member of Nigeria In England of Establishment of Public Relations.

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